Choosing Your Wedding Party

Colorful socks of groomsmenChoosing your wedding party can be one of the most difficult decisions you have to make during your wedding planning activities, but it is a very important one. It is difficult in that you don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings. The sad fact is that it is difficult to appease everyone who may want to be in the wedding, especially when you may be planning your wedding on a budget. It is important to look at that budget and consider it when choosing the size of your wedding party.

But who is in the typical wedding party and what are their responsibilities? This is information that can help you determine who is appropriate for each role and how you can justify why you choose who you choose.

The Maid of Honor

When choosing your wedding party, there is the important role of Maid (or matron) of Honor that has to be filled. A good rule of thumb is this: Sisters trump friends. If you don’t have a sister, then you go with your most loyal and oldest friend. That friend is the person who knows when to be brutally honest with you and when to tell you what you want to hear.

Your Maid of Honor is your ringleader. She is the one who holds the wedding planning checklist and checks off each task as you go. She keeps the bridesmaids in line, throws the bachelorette party, and plans the bridal shower. She may even make a toast at the reception.

The Best Man

The best man is an important part of your wedding plans. He tends to be the brother of the groom. If the groom doesn’t have a brother, then the best friend is the suitable person. His responsibility is to take care of all off the bachelor events and provide the proper support to the groom. He will hang on to the wedding rings, even if there is a ring bearer to take care of that, and he is the first to make a toast.


Bridesmaids tend to consist of fun friends who will remain in your life even after you have gotten married. Sisters and close cousins tend to trump friends in this case. You also want to consider your fiance’s sister before friends. If you do not have the relatives or the future sisters-in-law to fill the gaps, then you can move to friends. You will want to start with those friends who have been the most loyal or in your life the longest.

As for their jobs, they participate in all of the pre-wedding events. They also get to wear dresses that are chosen by the bride, run errands, attend tastings, and even tag along on meetings when the bride asks. They must also stay until the wedding reception is over. They can help ensure your wedding plans move along smoothly.


The groomsmen stand opposite of the bridesmaids. They are old friends of the groom, cousins, and could even consist of the bride’s brother. These guys can help seat guests, help the best man with the bachelor party, and dance with the bridesmaids during the reception.

Flower Girl

If you have a flower girl on your wedding planning checklist, then it is important to find a young lady who is capable of filling the role. A cousin, niece, godchild, a friend’s child, or a future stepchild can fill the role. Flower girls tend to be between the ages of three and six. Their job is to scatter flower petals as she walks down the aisle. The ring bearer may walk next to her.

Ring Bearer

The ring bearer is a cute nephew, cousin, godchild, a friend’s child, or future stepchild. He should be old enough to not throw the pillow down and have a temper tantrum. His job is to simply bear the rings as he walks with the flower girl down the aisle. Sometimes ring bearers and flower girls will walk down the aisle separately.

Other Players

Now that you know who is in the wedding party, there are some other important players. You may wish to have ushers to seat everyone instead of your groomsmen. You may even have someone serve as a guestbook attendant. If the train of the wedding dress is very long and there are stairs to conquer at the beginning of the aisle (common in churches), young ladies dressed alike and carrying the train can prevent an accident from happening. With so many roles to be filled, you can find important roles for many of those closest to you.


Your wedding is a very important event and one that requires very intricate planning. The Crystal Room is a premier wedding venue that has everything you need to have the perfect day for you and your guests. To learn more, call us at (508) 478-7800 or visit our contact page and fill out our contact form.