Why You Shouldn’t Hire Family Members for Your Wedding

Two wedding rings on top of a calendarWhen you’re getting married, everyone seems to want to help. Even if they never offered their help for anything else in the entire time they have been a part of your life, they want to be a part of the wedding.

Yes, you may make friends and family bridesmaids, the maid or matron of honor, the best man, and groomsmen. You may use friends and family members as ushers, guestbook attendants, to hand out party favors, and to carry other tasks. You may have a good friend read a poem or something you and your future spouse wrote to one another. There are different jobs that you can give different people when planning wedding activities.

But when is hiring family members, and even your friends, a big “no no?” When should you opt for the hired help?

Planning Wedding Ceremonies & Receptions

The wedding planning process can be stressful. It takes a lot of planning in advance and as few distractions as possible. Family members, especially, can be distracting. As much as you want to keep the peace, even when it comes to mom or Aunt Susie, the peace will not be kept if they decide to take a major role in the planning of the wedding.

In all, there is a lot that goes into the planning from you choosing the right dress to you making sure you remain in your budget. It can be even more difficult when family members become involved in budget weddings. The reason is because you may only have so much to spend. Unless they are going to make a contribution, it is best for you to stick with the plan so that honeymoon funds don’t end up paying for the ceremony and reception.

Letting Family Down Easy

When your family wants to get involved in the planning process or start expressing their own wedding ceremony ideas, there are ways you can let them down easy. When it comes to budget weddings or weddings where you may have hired a wedding venue to take care of the major details for you, tensions can run high if they are making suggestions that may be irrelevant to what you have planned.

So here are ways to let family down easy:

  • If they like to drink, they should be able to at the reception. It’s a party, so they should be allowed to have a blast. No doubt your family has put in some time helping you get ready for the big day, but they shouldn’t be working during the ceremony or the reception. They should be able to enjoy the ceremony and then relax and have fund during the reception. Let them know that they are to have a good time and that you have people to help with the reception so they can enjoy your special day.
  • Tell them that they need to be socializing. It can be awkward for guests and for your family member if a conversation has to be cut short because of a need to check in with the DJ or see how things are going. That can cause a great deal of chaos.
  • Friends or family members helping with the wedding ceremony or reception could end up missing part of the festivities due to all of the technicalities that need to be taken care of. Again, there are wedding attendants and others that can tend to these tasks so that your family and friends are not getting dressed and coming to your wedding to work. They could miss the first dance, the cutting of the cake, and other important events such as those.
  • Simply tell them that if something would go wrong, they wouldn’t have to shoulder the responsibility for it. Planning wedding activities is all about timing and making everything goes just right. It is a stressful role. If something goes wrong, you can’t fire Aunt Susie or your mom or write a review on the experience.
  • The guests are your guests and you have paid for them to be at your wedding. Your wedding ceremony ideas are yours, the guests are yours, and you want them to have fun while you have fun on one of the most important days of your life.

Now that you’ve heard the reasons why you shouldn’t hire family members, or even friends, to help with your wedding, it is good to look toward professionals. Even for budget weddings, professional help can ensure that all of the technical elements are taken care of so that you, your family members, and your friends can have a good time and not worry.


There is a lot of anxiety surrounding your big day as it is. Hiring a professional wedding venue that offers wedding packages that customize your big day can remove a great deal of stress from the event. To learn more about what The Crystal Room has to offer, call us at (508) 478.7800 or visit our contact page.